


Middle Schoolfeeding Friendcrush

by ashkatom



Series: 100 Post Ficathon [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, gif warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashkatom/pseuds/ashkatom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Karkat and Terezi flirt awfully, and Karkat decides that he's way too young for this shit anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Middle Schoolfeeding Friendcrush

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --   
GC: K44444444RKL3S!  
GC: 1 KNOW YOUR3 TH3R3.  
GC: DONT T3LL M3 YOUR F1RST D4Y OF SCHOOLF33D1NG W3NT SO B4DLY YOUR3 SOBB1NG 1NTO YOUR K3YBOARD  
GC: 4ND YOUR3 NOT 3V3N TURN1NG ON TH3 V13WPORT?  
GC: >:]  
GC: > :]  
GC: >:]  
CG: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST USE SERKET’S QUIRK AND THEN WAGGLE YOUR EYEBROWS AT ME. LADIES AND GENTLETROLLS, WE HAVE A NEW WORLD RECORD FOR FASTEST EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY. DON’T MIND HER LICKING THE MEDAL, IF WE’RE LUCKY SHE’LL DIE OF LEAD POISONING.   
CG: YOU’RE COPY/PASTING THE LOGS AND LAUGHING TOGETHER AT ME, AREN’T YOU.  
GC: >:O DODG1NG TH3 QU3ST1ON, CR4B4PPL3?  
GC: 4ND 1 4M NOT! NO L3G1SL4C3R4TOR WOULD B3TR4Y TH31R CL13NTS TRUST L1K3 TH4T.  
CG: PYROPE, THAT’S ALL LEGISLACERATORS DO.  
CG: IT IS, IN FACT, THEIR ENTIRE JOB.  
GC: >:[ RUD3!  
GC: P3N4LTY!  
CG: WHY THE FUCK DID I EVER THINK STRUCTURING OUR CONVERSATIONS AROUND A SYSTEM OF LAW MIGHT MAKE THEM GO MORE SMOOTHLY.  
CG: OH, WAIT, I DID NOT.  
CG: BECAUSE I AM NOT AN IDIOT.  
CG: YOU CAN’T JUST DECIDE TO IMPOSE A PENALTY ON ME, PYROPE. YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY.  
GC: OOH, K4RK4T! 1 POS1T1V3LY SWOON WH3N YOU CALL M3 PYROP3.  
GC: W1LL YOU B3 TH3 THR3SH3CUT1ON3R TO MY L3G1SL4C3R4TOR?  
GC: 1 W1LL T4K3 YOU ON DR4GON R1D3S 4ND C4LL YOU 4DOR4BLOODTH1RSTY.  
CG: NO YOU WON’T.  
GC: NO 1 WONT  
GC: BUT R34LLY. SCHOOLF33D1NG?  
CG: I WAS SO BORED THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE STRUCK DIAMOND, TAPPED ME DRY, AND MOVED ONTO ANOTHER MINE SITE. THE HISTORY AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS ARE SO LACKING I’M TEMPTED TO SCHOOLFEED EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING IN MY ZONE MYSELF. AND WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE LUSII TEACH EVERYTHING.  
GC: >:/  
CG: IF I HEAR ANOTHER SQUAWK I AM GOING TO TEAR OUT MY AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN THE SCHOOLFEEDER’S THROAT.  
CG: BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME.  
CG: HERE I SIT, AGOG, AWAITING THE ASSAULT OF UNPUNCTUATED LEETSPEAK AS MY PET TEALBLOOD BOUNCES EAGERLY ON THE BALLS OF HER FEET, WAITING TO TELL ME ABOUT HOW HER DAY WAS INFINITELY BETTER THAN MINE.  
GC: W3LL  
GC: NO  
GC: SCHOOLF33D1NG W4S 4BOUT WH4T YOU S41D.  
GC: BUT VR1SK4, 4R4D14, T4VROS 4ND 1 ORG4N1S3D SOM3 W33KLY FL4RP S3SS1ONS!  
GC: 1 4M GO1NG TO 3NJOY TH1S.  
CG: THAT’S THE MOST SPONGE-SHITTINGLY AWFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN YOU TYPE. CONGRATULATIONS!  
CG: TEREZI, FLARP WITH SERKET IS GOING TO GET YOU KILLED.  
GC: TH4TS WH4T M4K3S 1T FUN >;]  
GC: 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO GR4C3 M3 W1TH YOUR V1S4G3 B3FOR3 1 D13 OR W1LL NON3 OF US 3V3R S33 TH3 MYST3RY TH4T 1S K4RK4T V4NT4S?  
CG: I’M TAKING MY FACE TO THE GRAVE AND BURNING IT SO IT CAN’T INFLICT ITSELF ON ANYBODY. IF ANYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL.  
GC: 4W BUT YOU T4ST3 SO 4DOR4BL3!  
CG: UH.  
CG: LEAVING ASIDE THE WEIRDNESS OF THAT, WHAT THE FUCK TEREZI, I TOLD YOU.  
CG: ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.  
GC: SORRY K4RK4NDY, 4LL 1 C4N H34R 1S  
GC: 4DOOOOOOOOR4BL3!  
CG: OH FOR  
CG: QUIT USING SERKET’S QUIRK! I KNOW YOU’RE AS PITCH AS FUCKING ASPHALT FOR HER BUT THIS IS JUST DISGUSTING.   
GC: K4RK4T, WH4T H4V3 1 TOLD YOU 4BOUT PR3SUM1NG 1NT3NT1ONS?  
CG: I HAVE A FULL ARSENAL OF EVIDENCE THAT I AM WILLING AND ABLE TO USE, PYROPE.  
CG: YOU THINK I HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY LIFE THAN CATALOGUE ALL OF MY FRIENEMIES’ ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS, COMPARE, AND CONTRAST?  
CG: BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, LIVING AT THE INTERSECTION OF FUCKING AND NOWHERE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SPEND MUCH TIME ADMIRING THE CULTURAL HIGHLIGHTS OF THE CITY.  
GC: W3LL.  
GC: 4S LONG 4S YOU H4V3 3V1D3NC3!  
GC: 4ND SP3AK1NG OF YOUR CURR3NT LOC4T1ON…  
GC: SOLLUX 1S COD1NG SOM3TH1NG 4ND 4PP4R3NTLY W3’LL 4LL B3 4BL3 TO M33T SOON?  
GC: TH3N 4G41N KNOW1NG H1M H3’LL G3T D1STR4CT3D BY TRY1NG TO T1E H1S SHO3L4C3S P3RF3CTLY SYMM3TR1C4LLY.  
GC: >:/ YOUR MO1R41L 1S W31RD, K4RK1TT3N.  
CG: WHAT WAS ALL THIS ABOUT PRESUMING, PYROPE?  
GC: M4YB3 1 H4V3 3V1D3NC3.  
GC: >:]  
GC: > :]  
GC: > :]  
CG: THERE GO YOUR HORNS INTO THE UPPER STRATOSPHERE.   
GC: 3Y3BROWS!  
GC: 4NYW4Y TH3 FL4RP GROUP 1S H4V1NG 4 M33T1NG SOON TO PR3P4R3 TH3 SC3N4R1O FOR THE F1RST G4M3 4ND 1M HOST1NG.  
GC: GOODBY3 FOR NOW, FAVOUR1T3 THR3SH3CUT1ON3R-TO-B3!  
GC: 1 PROM1S3 TO NOT THROW MYS3LF ON S3RK3T UNL3SS SH3 B3SM1RCH3S YOUR M4NLY 4ND 1NSP1R1NG N4M3.  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --


End file.
